Mother’s Day Expectations, Meet Reality
In the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day, the Internet tells me I work tirelessly for my family, and I deserve a break. There are 364 other days a year, but today is my day to be pampered, and if my people love me right, lavished with gifts.
I should seize this day. It’s my one opportunity, so I should milk it … or should I?
I deserve. Anytime I begin a thought with these two words, it’s my cue to mentally fight back. What if I don’t get what I want this one day? What if instead of being awakened with locally roasted coffee and a delicious platter of gluten-free waffles, my reality is sitting bundled up on a blustery soccer field at 9 a.m.? Or what if instead of sleeping in, my reality is serving in the preschool room at church? How will I react when my Insta feed is all breakfast in bed yet my morning is up and at ’em?
Oh hi, Internet-manifested vision of Mother’s Day in my head, meet my reality. Cue entitlement with a side of disappointment. Add an attitude of ungratefulness for my blessings.
I’ve been a mama for eight Mother’s Days now. I’m far from wise, but I’ve learned that deserving doesn’t serve me or my family well.
It’s for sure something I still struggle with, a process of heart change. But my progress is that I can now identify my feelings of entitlement that rise up every year at this time, and I work to squelch them. Not only does it feel gross, it’s not a great example to model to my kids.
How am I going to purposefully push aside this feeling of Mother’s Day entitlement when my expectations don’t meet reality?
First, by feeling gratitude for what is present.
I’m thankful for my own mom, who never expressed that she deserved as we were growing up, yet she is worthy of all the honor for raising my brother and I as a single mom. (And doing a dang good job at it!) I’m thankful I have two healthy kids who can run and play, and who I’ll get to watch on the soccer field that Sunday morning. I’m blessed with an amazing church where I’ll get to serve in the preschool room Saturday night. I’m grateful for a loving family and the picnic we’ll enjoy together.
On the actual Mother’s Day, there may be zero lavish-ness. Pampering is doubtful. But for so many of us moms, this busy is the stuff of life, full and good.
Second, I fight entitlement by releasing my expectations that ALL the fun and honoring of my role as a mother must take place on this one day.
This year, I’m allowing myself the gift of flexibility. I’m calling it Mother’s May … allowing myself to feel honored as a mama and enjoy special times, not just on May 13, but throughout the month.
Mother’s May. It’s when my kids present me with their very best handmade gifts and beaming smiles. When I go on a date night with my husband and tell him it’s okay, no pressure, I’m shopping for my own present later. When I hit up First Fridays with a sister. When I spend time with a dear friend, having coffee, trying on all the clothes at @jolly’s and scouting out houseplants we will purchase and attempt to not kill.
It’s not that I’m saying I don’t want anything, I’m saying I want to enjoy life’s good gifts at a leisurely pace.
I hope that sharing my inner struggle has helped make you think about how you might soak up the goodness that is Mother’s May a little more. How do you plan to celebrate your blessings and the amazing job you do as a mama?! Comment below!
A huge thanks to the woman behind the camera (and the good times), Jill Caren Photo. You and your talents are a gift.